....

- Old man -

"old man, sitting by the pond,
come and tell us your life's story,
for lived are your years and tales
of handsome undiscovered glory"
old man sat up, but said nothing,
turned his head
and an expression of long sorrow
showed upon his face instead
"old man speak, do not refrain
your lessons I must learn
what you did in all those years
before to dust you turn"
his eyes glazed and then bit by bit
a smile appeared
and then faded in an instant
as if his memories he feared
"I have lived" he said,
"but have never loved for real
there was no glory in my deed
and so I sit here still
there is nothing worth of telling
but rejection of my kind
and of walls built all around me
and that I remained behind
I have not travelled
I have not seen a world of beauty
I have followed my own path
my path of solitary duty
Now I sit here and have
wasted so much precious time
so just go and leave me be
dear old friend of mine"

- Clarity -

Clarity,

The daughter of wisdom

Has descended

And infected my small mind

It has pierced

Through my not knowing

And declared

A state of wonder

Did I see

The pikes I shot

While I rotted

In my plot?

Did I listen

To what I said

And agreed

And held my hand?

Clarity

You, daughter of wisdom

That has failed me

And belated has arrived

Did you laugh while you were watching

The self-destruction of my heart?

Did you not care enough to whisper:

“Now my dear that is enough!

Don’t go hiding in the bushes,

When you could be loved at last”

But instead you let me be

Like a stupid little kid

Egocentric in its thinking

And a mean and ugly beast

You didn’t stop me or give courage

And the loss is great indeed

I had hopes which I kept secret

So they vanished in an instant

Now belated you torment me

And I know there’s no way back

And that knowing is what saddens

My existence in this space

For I know I will not know

What it would have been at last

And I wish I would have tried

I do wish I would have tried.

Verona

I am scared, bruised,

My wings are clipped

My voice is an inner echo

That sounds so restless

In the distance

I am misguided

And yet not lost

Just far from the right turn

That I have missed

I did not think

That I was gone

Nor did I know

I was still there

With eyes of strangers

I became blind

And wouldn’t see

The eyes of friends

I became wild

and on the run

and effortless

forgot just all

that made a sense

and was just me-

to leave behind

the pain and agony

And now I see

How much I lost

And it pains me

Without degree

As so much history

Has not been written

And will be missed

In eternity

With his heart in the moment

With no sense of duty

With pain of the past

And brainless, not stupid

No doubt in his mind

No needless thoughts

No patience to wait

But to take now and more

No power to rest

The need to control

All heaven and earth

Under his toll

And so neatly hidden

In his disguise

Is the broken life hero

That I saw that one night

***

It was she

who reminded me

that love is a piece

of profound

memory;

A tiny spasm

left unaffected

by the circular light.

Granular thickness

disguised in the mud

dropping and waiting

in its own frame.

Who once has loved

will feel the pain

of not remaining

in this ideal state.

The search is always

about to begin

and in great comfort

we rest and oblige

for what is this

but a fake, hopeless cry?

A ridicule non sense,

suspense and reason

not to die;

***

One piece of wood

A staircase from hell

A winded long road

A memory to dwell

There was a small creature

A hobbit of some kind

A beautiful teacher

That was left behind

And cut is the joy

Into blocks of four letters

And gone is the sorrow

And nothing else matters

A dream that was found

A collectable of truth

Of all the small steps

Between standstill and move

-The lyric- The war has spread into this landIt has demolished the empty breathThe meaning of all joy has risenWhen all the music faced its rhythm There was no man that wouldn’t standOr wouldn’t hail in great saluteThere was no dream that wouldn’t protectThe glory given to the doom In marsh they set out to their limitsThey try to fight though all is lostThey never understood the purposeAnd didn’t trash what’s dearest most

The clouds drown the sun and all its light

The darkness soaks into their fleshAnd when the breath fades from this lyricThe hearts contempt their great mistake One would have called it naïve and stupidNo recognition for all those liesAnd when they stood in holy spiritsThey did not know that they would die The hope was there and needed trustSo they gave all in faith and fearAnd when the earth covers their bodyThey might not rise and disappear They might not ever be a humanAnd who’s to blame for this domain?The answer is not in this lyricIt burns in hell with some of them.

*****

I have no way to say I feel

Or show the life of which I dream

I have no words to give you now

Or find a way to show you how

I have been smiling most of the day

And missed the rain that didn’t stay

The one that wouldn’t stop

When I was opening my heart

I haven’t slept and haven’t thought

But I have dreamt and not forgot

I have discovered something new

and followed my instincts through and through...

But as the sun prepares to sink

I cloud my mind and memories

With the fear it wasn’t true

and not to hear from you

- In the past-

I did not authorise this question.I did not sit and reconsiderAll the options that you saidWere so important to the subjectAnd yetYou pushAnd lookSomewhat cruel in that pale lightAnd all the blossoms that surround youAre as dead as yesterday’s nightFor you did not accomplish meYou did not deny my hopeYou did not burn what I have seenAnd recreated my whole real worldYou did not leave when it was timeOr reposes the holy faithYou didn’t spare the fright of timeNor did you sleep with open eyesWhy did you stand?I dare not sayWhy did you feel?I cannot sayWhy did you pityIs just a mysteryFrom dusk to dawn

And so it will be.

- Wise man -

Dismantle me, wise man
Take me apart
Clear all 12 pieces
And put them back by heart
Do not wonder
Should I be different
From what you have seen so far!
Do not astonish
When you see me not fitting into your heart!

- Marble -

He called me and held on to me
He placed his hand upon my stomach
And gently in his smooth caress
Relaxed my body - made me rest

In instinct - he forgot his name
He wouldn't do it - he knew so well
He wouldn't long for my embrace
He wouldn't break the innocence

And so we parted -
And quickly forgot
The moment that so sweet has been
For truth to say
It's sometimes better
To not engage
In such disgrace!
As lovable as it may be -
It's better erased from
Memory!

- Still -

I haven't slept for quite some time
Even though the night is all year 'round,
In every second of each day
I miss so dearly what has left

When people pass me on the street,
I see their shadows, my memories,
I have left time and won't come back
'Cause I miss so dearly what has left

And when things turn and make some sense
It is not me that is content
And all this proves and is correct
That I can't possibly forget

And when I move and try to feel
The moon keeps hiding behind the steel
That surrounds my heart and seals the pain
That I can't possibly forget

In all I am,
In every breath
Is your existence
That now has left
And I don't feel like much at all
I do not feel the leaves that fall
The seasons changed and I'm still here
Surrounded by the same old fear

I miss so dearly what has left
It is beyond the human depth
Anything that I've come to see
Means nothing and lost hope to me

When winter comes and all is dead
I will not possibly forget
When all awakens but just not you
I will still sit and still miss you!

***Under my skin*** Blossom touched the winter beltWith great patience and snow meltFrost escaped from open fireAnd strengthened the beast’s desire “Hold me, hold me”, then she screamed“Touch me, touch me” and it seemedLike no cure was good enough“Touch me, touch me- strong and rough” Sunshine filled the room so coldAnd surprisingly got hold Of the “in” of her and me That together was not to be So we clung together- more and moreWho was she to let me go?To dismiss myself so kindAnd just ruin my small mind In that tiring and long nightI rediscovered the forbidden sightThat went missing long agoIn a land too far to go It’s the shortcut he showed meThat changed all and set me freeThat brought back the nicest sin-

He just got under my skin!

****A drama I showA drama I tellA permanent flowThe pain he felt A boy on a bikeDriven by sorrowNo reason to fightNot seeing tomorrow He sat down and cried,Screamed out a goodbyeHis throat was tightWith seconds to die When he was livingWhere did he go wrong?The mornings he praisedTo the night he belonged Now all is lostForgiven and failedThe sight of a victimHis face is so pale.

*Pre-winter-heat*

The ice spreads heavenly into the dark

And smoothes the simple heavy knife

That cuts through imaginary space

And develops our long forgotten fate

It cuts the memories- the joy

Awakens nightmares from beyond

And all in the ultimatum cry

That spreads and leaves- life to die

Frost covers hearts and birds and bees

It sucks out the youth of low regrets

It tightens knots of final spells

And puts an end to wedding bells

So Christmas comes and all is still

It has forgiven me that night

The sun rose late but with no doubt

The cold wrapped tight around my mouth.

*** Unspoken***

Bang- makes the Yellow scream

Bang- makes the Yellow fear

Bang- makes the shadow spark

And leaves its little mark;

Hush- the words unspoken

Hush- the silence broken

And the dream of not to be

In a space we always meet

Death surrounded by old fashion

And applied with real compassion

Matter did it not at all

When you lifted from your fall

Flowers dried and whispered sins

Trees forgot what water brings

And embraced the day so dark

And withheld their soul and heart

Don’t you dare to run from me!

Don’t you dare to leave me here;

Now you started that whole thing-

Come- and be my spring.

****

Little human that walks the earth

Little human that crawls

That fights

That runs and hides

Where are you now?

Can I reach you

Deep down there?

Where the lights turned black

And swallowed the sun?

I need you to wake up!

Wake up! -Little human

That walks the earth

Wake up

Show me where to go and how to live

Take my hand and brush away my tears.

Have you forgotten who you are?

Bright shining little star-

You are sleeping far too deep-

Louder I wouldn’t dare to speak.

***Peach***

Peach spokeand looked him straight in the eyesShe did not think or pause to observePeach spokeuntil she had it allHe-never wanted to keep it from her The sins they had countedseemed longwithout endThe looks they exchangedwere hidden and fastThe passion that rosewas a dream of false heartsOf places to go and feed on each other The days did not passThe time just stood stillThe memories engravedwith blood of their ownThere was no waythey could ever redeemWhat had begun should endbefore dawn The clothes were spread like old fallen leavesthe daylight had sobered all their glorythe silence stood madinside the roomthe smell of shamedrawn from their souls who dared to speak?who dared to weep?It should remain a memoryThe listings of reasonsWhy they did what they didNo blames but liesTo their own self to give And so time passed In circles that isjust to repeat the night day after daythe lies could no longer hold what they had webbedtwo angels had fallenin front of my

face